SZA Opens Up In New Rolling Stone Interview
Despite having an amazing talent, SZA has always had a love/hate relationship with releasing music and albums. Now the songstress has explained that her recent absence was a period of self-healing so she could get into a space where music was important to her again.
SZA's debut album CTRL was highlighted by interludes from her mother and her grandmother, Norma. In June 2019, Norma passed away at the age of 90. This took an emotional toll on SZA that she was not prepared to deal with.
"I’ve buried so many people in my life, you would think that I would be used to it, or just have a threshold. But my grandma broke the threshold for me," she said during an interview with Rolling Stone. "It was so weird to not have any...I don’t know, any control over anything."
Norma's death was coupled with the passing of SZA's aunt. This lack of control and mounting grief created a downward spiral of emotions that left SZA in a deep depression.
"I didn’t want to make music," she told writer Emma Carmichael. "I didn’t. I was just trying to not kill myself, and not quit, period. Because it was really fucking hard, and lonely as fuck."
To get out of this "dark-ass depression," SZA started to focus on health and exercise. She began going to the gym daily, learning about crystals, meditating, and using sound bowls.
"You really have to choose to feel better. You have to. Have to," SZA said. "Because if you don’t, you just die. I decided I’m going to choose that shit for my fucking self, for real."
This allowed her to step out of the pop star lane that the success of CTRL brought to her. Now she's not only prepared to make and release music again, she's also standing firm in being uncompromising with her sound.
"I’ve dropped nothing but features. People don’t know who the fuck I am, right? They think I’m on some stupid superstar shiny shit. I know people are tired of seeing that. They want to see me. I owe people that. So I’m going to do that," SZA explained.
She said she's drawing inspiration from a litany of acts, but she's not worried about her eclectic influences confusing her audience. "I don’t even give a fuck about cohesion," she states. "If you sound like you, your shit’s going to be cohesive. Period."